Thursday, May 8, 2008

It's official

My RE's office called today with the negative beta results, as expected.  I haven't had a total emotional breakdown yet, but I am throwing a little pity party for myself tonight.  I just keep asking myself the same question-why couldn't it be me?  Why wasn't I the one to win the infertility lottery?  

Why couldn't I have been the one who got pregnant. . .  

on my honeymoon

before the six month mark

on my first cycle charting

after preseed and Fertility Blend

in the first year

on the cycle before going to the RE

after my HSG

from a natural IUI

after my lap

on clomid

on injects

on a break cycle

on IVF#1

on an IUI converted from IVF #2 or #3

on IVF#4

Why the hell couldn't it have been me?  


8 comments:

Lost in Space said...

Karen, I wish I had an answer. This is just so unfair. I have secretly hoped that I might be one of the "lucky" ones at so many of those milestones too. I am so sorry, my friend. ((Hugs))

Barb said...

I'm so sorry. I ask those same questions almost daily. Sometimes it's unbearable. Hang in there and we'll be here.
xo

Barb said...

http://www.bluewaters.net/

If you do decide you're serious about looking into it, feel free to PM me more questions as I can let you know honestly the pros and cons for you to see if it's what you're looking for. It was very quiet and relaxing, but IS a family resort.

journey to junior said...

i am so sorry, karen.

Polly Gamwich said...

I'm so sorry Karen.

Catharine said...

Why does it have to be so complicated, so impossible, so unavoidable? I love the way you wrote this post. It so clearly shows all the opportunities missed, all the times others have posted that they were saved from the next step and sometimes, it seems, their miracles came at the expense of others'.

Freyja said...

I wish I had an answer or something at least a little better than "I don't know". It really and truly is NOT fair. I'm so very sorry Karen.

Miah said...

I am so sorry. This is not fair. ((hugs))