Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Foster Care Review Meeting

This is a boring update, but I hope it explains yet another part of the fost/adopt process.

Every six months, children in state custody are required to have a foster care review meeting. The purpose of the review is to discuss progress toward the child's goals.  In the case of L, his goal is permanence which means adoption by us.  It's usually suggested that preadoptive parents attend the meetings, but in our case L's social worker told us not to.  We had been told at our disclosure meeting for L that it would not be in anyone's interest for us to attend the foster care review meetings. L's brother's preadoptive parents had never attended.  L's biological father was always there and the social workers were convinced that he would become confrontational with us.  They thought things would get ugly. After J, L's biodad, died, the worker felt like there was no need to change things.  We emailed L's worker a narrative of how he was adjusting to our family. 

So the meeting came and went.  Last week we got a written report about the meeting.  Nothing in there was surprising  They continue to recommend permanence through adoption by us.  It was nice to see us referred to as L's forever family.  The report also said the plan is for us to finalize in June.  

I would love for us to finalize in June, but it's highly unlikely.  For reasons I don't understand the medical examiner has been very slow with issuing a death certificate for J, L's biological father. Until the death certificate is issued, the court can't terminate parental rights.  Until the court terminates parental rights, the adoption paperwork can't be submitted. We're hoping it happens soon, but we're not holding our breath. We just keep telling ourselves that it will happen eventually.  

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Fortunately, Unfortunately, Fortunately*

Fortunately, I heard the word, "Mama" from L for the first time this morning.  Or at least the first time I was sure that it was actually Mama and not more, more, or something along those lines. 

Unfortunately,  he said it over and over as he was holding on to my leg, trying to keep me from leaving when I dropped him off at daycare this morning. 

Fortunately,  he loves our babysitter's children and they were able to distract him by getting out his breakfast bowl and getting him to bang his spoon around in it. When I left, he was all smiles.

Of course, he hasn't said Mama since.  

*I realized after I posted this that my "fortunately, unfortunately" reference is really obscure.  It's the children's book Fortunately, one of my many favorites. I had it in my head when I was thinking about the day.  

Friday, January 15, 2010

I Hate Fac.ebook

Posted on Fa.cebook by my clueless (formerly infertile??) cousin:

Next time, remind me not to have babies 15 months apart. 

Consider it done. 

Monday, January 4, 2010

Not So Bad

Thanks for the support!

Today wasn't awful after all.  I survived my first day back, in spite of my substitute not having done half of what I left and was kind of (very much) counting on her to do.  But it could have been much worse and I'll catch up. 

DH called his mother and she came to help out with L so DH didn't have to expose him too much to the awful stomach germ. We're still holding out hope that L's yucky diapers are due to teething and this stomach thing will bypass him.  MIL cooked a huge pot of chicken soup and she's a fantastic cook so that was a plus. Lunch for the rest of the week!

L remains happy despite his sour stomach and he's drinking and eating like himself.  He had fun with his grandmother and still remembered me when I got home, so not so bad.  

Tomorrow is the big drop off at the babysitters.  He'll go about 2-3 days per week.  The other days DH will have him.  Then in about 6 months, I'll be off for another 8 weeks or so and can spend all my time with L and DH.  

I'm luckier than many and am trying to count my blessings.  


Just spent two days sick, really, really, sick with the stomach bug

L has diarrhea

DH is getting sick now too,

But he's watching L today


my maternity leave ends today and I have to go back to work.  

This sucks!