Sunday, May 4, 2008

God and BFPs

I recently saw a post on a online fertility forum by a woman who got a BFP and she praised God.  It struck me that the only time I hear someone singing God's praises on online fertility forums is in a BFP post when prayers are answered.  You rarely see someone saying how great God is when she gets BFN after BFN after BFN. I'll admit that I'm not a religious person so I'm not someone who goes around praising God at any time.  I'm not sure what I believe about God, but I know I would be more willing to listen to the point of view of someone who sings Hosanna whatever the HPT result than to someone who only praises God when she gets what she wants. Personally, I don't believe that God's greatness should be measured in BFPs or BFNs, but if you truly believe God is great and all-powerful then don't you have to accept that even your BFN is a sign of His greatness? 

See what my mind does during the 2ww.  I need a hobby to distract me. 


Lost in Space said...

Just wanted to say that I agree with you 100% on this.

Anonymous said...

Karen, I agree with you and Brenda 100%. How does one selectively praise god when it works out the way they want? You either praise god or you don't, regardless of the outcome.

Lizzybo said...

I think you're right. There was a point in my IVF cycle where my blood work came back with a 2.5 progesterone level. It meant that I ovulated. I even had a new cyst to show for it. My IVF coordinator called to tell me the bad news and told me they had reserved a spot for me in the March IVF group. She also told me they wanted me to continue the medications for just one more day so I could redo the blood work, just in case, but she said a lab error was not likely at all.

Needless to say, I was shocked, stunned, and upset about it, but I also felt an odd sense of peace like it was okay. I said a very heartfelt prayer where I felt that I really connected, and I thanked the Lord for the news and for helping me to cope with it. I thanked Him for the experience. That also felt odd, because I was sincere in my thanks and praise, when a part of me was telling me that I should be angry. I wasn't angry and that made me realize how far I'd come in this infertility journey, how much I'd grown and learned.

The next day the progesterone was back at .2 and they declared it to be a lab error. I am a person of faith and quite frankly, all the evidence pointed toward an early ovulation. Lab error or miracle, I was back in the cycle, which ended wonderfully.

By the way, I'm tagging you. Please check out my blog for more information. ;)

Polly Gamwich said...

As a Christian ... I have found it very difficult to praise God during my miscarriages. Each day is a battle as I worship God and sing "how great, how awesome is HE ..." and some days it feels like I can sing that with honesty and some days it doesn't ... but my feelings shouldn't be what dictates my beliefs, right? (at least, I think that's what I think you're pointing out)

I was just telling someone the other day that I struggle with the lies that overcome me when bad news (like miscarriage) comes my way (lies like: God is punshing me and I must not be good enough to deserve a baby, etc.) and I have to repeat to myself that my Jesus has not changed from before I got my news to after I got my news - so I whole-heartedly agree with you.

I think it's human nature to be grateful when you hear good news and wonder if you're being punished with bad news.

I think it's great that you've even recognized this as a question - so many people never even wonder about such things.

Thanks for sharing your heart,

Anonymous said...

See Mel's post at "where's my belly" on April 18, last paragraph.
Reminded me a bit of what you've said.
Wishing BFP thoughts for you!

Lisa G.

Tims_Diva said...

Phillipians 4:1 says, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again. Rejoice!" As someone who's been TTC #1 for almost 5 years and had a miscarriage the one time I got pregnant with triplets from IVF, I can tell you that infertility has been a lesson in surrendering for me. I don't understand why I'm not a mother when so many others who don't want kids are, but Jeremiah 29:11 helps me remember that God has a plan for me to prosper me and not to harm me... to give me hope and a future. My mind is small where his is infinite and I know that his plan includes my eternal life and not just the 80 years or so I'm on this planet. All this to say that if I can't praise him for my miscarriage, I'm praising him that I get to hold my children in Heaven, for my dh, for my family, for my very salvation.