Sunday, November 30, 2008

I Will Not Be Silent about Infertility


Taina at We Are What We Repeatedly Do has deemed me worthy of the Speak Out, Speak Up award. I appreciate her high opinion of me-that I have the "strength of character to speak out without being a bitch." I know for sure that there are some who would strongly disagree with her on that point. ;)

I guess the award is an affirmation of my loud mouth. I have been far from quiet about my infertility. My immediate family has been in the know since our first RE appointment and I came out to my extended family just before our first IVF over a year ago. I have not been shy with my coworkers either. That openness has led to awkward moments like walking back to my classroom after an IUI and getting a thumbs up from a coworker, to touching moments like a group of coworkers taking my class for a day because I was sick as a dog and they knew I wanted to get better in time for my retrieval.

For a while I was open about my own infertility, but I wasn't quick to confront the ignorance of others head on. But with time I've grown more comfortable and now I have no problem calling people on stupid comments. I don't go around bitchslapping strangers, but friends and acquaintances best watch out if they feel the need to joke about "something in the water" or how if so-and-so relaxes she'll get pregnant. The most recent comment was said by a very good friend about a coworker who has been trying for four whole months. She actually said that if C. stops stressing about it, it will happen. I nailed her with the whole " women in war zones get pregnant, they're pretty stressed... and what about women who live in poverty, they get pregnant, aren't they stressed, what about women who are raped. . ." She cried uncle, as she should have.

My final task as a recipient of this award is to tag four others who have not been silent about their infertility. My nominees are:

Shelby because I know she hopes to be more open when the time is right

Wendy because she's just really cool

Cindy because I know being honest has bitten her in the ass at times (see her November 10 post)

and Steph because she kicks ass as one of the most supportive IFers I know


Me said...

You are so much kinder and sweeter than I could ever hope to be. Really. That's ok though because I'm really tall. ;)

Lost in Space said...

Yay, Karen. Kicking ass and taking names. (;

Holly said...

The thumbs up thing made me titter. Awesome. I feel like I was pretty vocal/open about our infertility, but I look back on so many occasions in which I could have done a better job. Kudos to you women who represent all of us IFers so well!

Barb said...

Wow! Great new look!

I totally agree about Steph. :)

Ellie said...

I feel like I have finally found a like-minded soul. I adore Cindy's postings and hold out hope for her. As for me, I am glad to find you...someone with one egg even after IVF to IUI torture. I am inspired by you and your bravery to move forward.

Wendy said...

Wow - This is probably the only time in my life I'll ever be called cool! (I'm basking in the glory of it just a bit...okay - done basking!)

I wish I was more like you and able to say something right back to someone who doesn't know what they are talking about. Sometimes I can, but usually I end up with my foot in my mouth and my feelings hurt. I guess I need to work on my comebacks for when I hear something I don't agree with.

I'm so glad you speak your mind.

Shelby said...

Thanks Karen! I do have some GRAND plans on being an IF big mouth one day, as soon as I can promise myself that I will not strangle anyone who says something dumb about IF, as it's bound to happen. :) Not sure they'd hire me in the public education system if I have assault charges on my record!

I aim to be more like you and more of a voice for IF. It really needs to be heard and the more we speak up, the fewer uneducated notions will exist. Good for you for not being silent!

WaterBishop said...

Aw gee thanks. :)

I like your blog's new look.