We did it.

DH and I sent in our initial application to apply to adopt through the state. There really wasn't that much to it as it's just a screening application, but it feels like a big step. We still need a CORI check, a home visit, 24 hours of parenting classes, a completed homestudy, and so on. I don't expect it to be easy, but then again nothing is easy. And unlike IVF this move comes with a guarantee. If we're flexible and persistent we should be matched with a child within a year or so.

I am so excited. As a matter of fact, I'm feeling more positive about the future than I have in a long time. It feels like I've been under water and I'm finally surfacing. I can actually breathe again. I still plan to do one more IVF in April, but I'm not feeling so upset about it being my last. Part of me doesn't even want to do it at all-I'm so ready to be done with treatments-but I feel like I have to, if even just so I won't ever have any regrets.

I've been thinking about something I read a long time ago when I first realized I was dealing with infertility. It's about infertility island. It was written in the blog Barren Mare and I just found it again: Infertility Island I still like it, but recently I found this one. I like it even better because it feels like it applies more to my situation: Getting to the Mainland

I guess DH and I have reservations on the boat. Woohoo!