My heart skips a beat

We got an email from L's worker today.  His biological grandmother (BGM) is requesting visitation.  This is the same woman who lost her sons, including L's biological dad, to foster care for years due to neglect. I don't think she's ever met L or his brother. Well, maybe she met his brother during the month he lived with his biological parents immediately after he was born. I can't imagine L visiting with her.  He had such a hard time when he had his last visit with his biological father, and he used to visit with him every month. L's caseworker plans to deny the request, but I find the whole situation unsettling.  I know it's probably the holiday season that started BGM thinking this way.  I know there's no judge in his right mind who would give her custody of the boys, so I'm not too worried about that (but I am just a little bit worried, because it's my nature to expect the roof to fall in).  I don't think very many judges would give her visitation, given her history. I'm going to call the CW tomorrow to check in on whether BGM can appeal CW's decision or if it's final. 

What this new event has done is started me thinking about when L is older and wants to know more about his biological family.  He doesn't have a pretty story about how his birthparents couldn't take care of him but loved him so much that they found a family who could love him and take care of him forever.  I'm not threatened by L wanting to have contact with his biological family; I'm scared to death by it.  These are not safe people (with very few exceptions).  These are people who are caught in a generations-long cycle of abuse, neglect, substance abuse, and criminality. L and his brother have, hopefully, broken that cycle, but what happens when they want to get to know the only biological relatives they have and those relatives are still in the thick of that cycle. How do you protect your child in a situation like that, while still supporting his desire to feel a biological connection?  

I know I'm probably partly transferring my worry about BG's recent request onto a future situation, maybe to avoid the present a bit. The thing is that right now I know I'm completely unprepared for that future situation.  I found an adoptive parent support group in my area.  I'm planning to attend their next meeting. I need help.