Sunday, November 25, 2007

Overindulging

I've been drinking a lot lately. I don't think I have an alcohol problem, but I am sensitive to the possibility because my dad is a recovering alcoholic who's been sober for 20 years now. I used to drink rarely just a few years ago. The problem is that having a glass of wine, or several, is one of the few privileges of not being pregnant, along with eating soft cheeses, processed meats, and sushi. I feel compelled to throw myself fully into these privileges. If I can't get knocked up at least I can drink my red wine and eat my bleu cheese and salami. I know it's not the best attitude, but it's the one I'm clinging to at the moment: I'm not jealous of you pregnant lady. Who cares if you have a baby? I have a spicy tuna roll.

1 comment:

Yodasmistress said...

OMG you've been stalking me haven't you? Hiding in my kitchen, watching the liquor supply dwindling faster that it ever has before?

I was drinking too often for about 6 months. And then around the begining of October I stopped to see if it would help alleviate the depression I was going through. And it did help. Or at least the depression got better. But now I'm back to my old ways again.

As I mentioned on LP, I've used to be a big party girl. And I totally left every aspect of that life behind to TTC. And now two years later I have nothing to show for it except boredom and frustration. So somehow it is like if I console myself with a little fun it is not so bad that I'm not pg. I know this logic is twisted ... but it is honest.