Sunday, February 5, 2012

Never thought I'd be writing this post

Two weeks ago, I came home from work and DH told me he wants a divorce. I'm in shock. I'll admit we have our ups and downs, but I never thought we were moving toward this. He won't go to counseling. He won't take time on his own to think about it. He's decided he's done and he wants to move on and start a new life. It's like I'm on a train that won't stop. We have our first divorce mediation session this week.

I don't have the words to describe how much pain I'm feeling. Pain for my baby, who doesn't need any more loss in his life. Pain for the life I thought I had. Pain for DH because I know he's going to be hurt by this in the end. I need strength right now and I don't know if I have enough.

30 comments:

GB's Mom said...

I am sorry for your pain. You are in my prayers.

erin said...

I've never been more than a lurker on your blog, but I want you to know how much support you have here. I have been through this and you get through it too. Be strong for LO and know that there are amny of us here that are willing and able to listen if you need to talk....

good enough said...

Delurking to tell you how sorry I am. When my youngest daughter (who was adopted from China) was three, my ex-husband and I divorced. The next year was really rough, but we got through it. I hope you have strong support from family and friends. It sucks, but you will get through it. Hug your little boy close - he will be fine with a strong, loving mama like you.

Wendy said...

Oh, Karen. I'm so shocked at reading this. I'm so very sorry and cannot imagine the pain you are going through.

Many hugs -- I'm here if you want to talk...

Claudia said...

Oh Karen - I'm so, so sorry to be reading this. I wish I knew what to say - I do'nt - but I want to let you know that I'm so sorry you're going through this awful thing - I'll be thinking of you.

Ms. J said...

Oh my, honey...I'm so sorry. If he won't go to counseling GO BY YOURSELF. Please, imploring you to do it even I by yourself. Think of it as a way of helping your baby, if that makes it more palatable (it will help with that, too).

Is your family rallying around you? Friends?

shocks said...

I'm so sorry! Praying for you, baby and DH!

Anita said...

I'm so sorry!

Praying for strength and healing for all of you!

*HUGS*

mygrl said...

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. Divorce isn't easy and I am afraid in the long run it's the children that suffer the most.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I am so incredibly sorry. Sending a hug.

Brokenornot said...

I'm so sorry. There are no words I could say to make it better. I've been there, and I wouldn't want to see anyone else do it, so I am again, so sorry.

Polly Gamwich said...

Oh Karen, I'm so incredibly sorry. I can't imagine the shock and hurt you must feel :(

Anonymous said...

Been there. I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

If you're not in the mood for advice, skip the rest of this comment and know that I'm thinking of you.








Okay, here's the advice part: Don't listen to anything DH says right now. He's going to be trying to rewrite the past, saying things like "I never loved you" or "I love you, but I'm not in love with you."

It's going to be like aliens took over his body and if you believe what he's saying, it's just going to hurt you.


He's probably at least thinking about dating someone else and thinking that he can just leave his old life painlessly and move on. At this point, anything you do to try and stop him or slow him down will seem like you're trying to trap him.

There's a chance that, however sure he seems about divorce now, that he'll change his mind once you've had some time apart. At that point, you may not want him back. Things change and, no matter what he's saying now, it's not clear what the future holds.

Egg said...

Sending you so much love and light.

KH99 said...

I am so sorry this is happening :-(

Fiddle1 said...

I am so shocked and sorry to read this. What a terrible blow. I pray for the ability to breathe your way through this, whatever the outcome may be.

banditgirl said...

I am also very sorry about this and I wish I knew you IRL and could offer any support you need right now. This must be unbearably hard, but given the hardship you already have been through, I feel you are very strong and you will get through this too. We are here to listen and support and love. You are amazing.

Chickenpig said...

I'm so sorry. You are in my thoughts.

tireegal68 said...

I'm here from LFCA to offer you support and a virtual hug. I hope you have a good support network and remember the internets is part of this too. You're a good woman and mom! Don't let anything he says or does make you forget that!

Audrey said...

This is my first time here...I just wanted to say how sorry I am to read this. I don't know you at all, but I hope and pray you have wonderful support to get through this.

Amber said...

I'm so very, very sorry. :(

@EndoJourney said...

I found your blog on LFCA and just wanted to say how sorry I am for what you're going through and I wish you lots of strength in the upcoming days and weeks.

Natalie said...

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry! :(

I Believe in Miracles said...

Here from LFCA. I'm so sorry.

Cibele said...

I've been there and I know exactly how you feel. I really hope you guys can work things out

Robbie said...

So sorry! Seems like this is happening so much right now. Hang in there, you will find strength you didn't know you had and you will get through this. As far as your son, kids would rather come from a broken home than live in one....

Mama Or Not said...

I'm a longtime lurker and just wanted you to know how sorry I am.

JustHeather said...

I'm sorry to hear this, I know it can't be easy.
Here from LCFA.

Serendipitie said...

I'm so sorry this is happening. Sending you strength and love

Barb said...

Oh no Karen! I'm so sorry I missed this til now and I'm so sorry you're going through it! Who could ever divorce YOU? You just seem so wonderful. You rock in my boat. Strength and love through this.