Never thought I'd be writing this post

Two weeks ago, I came home from work and DH told me he wants a divorce. I'm in shock. I'll admit we have our ups and downs, but I never thought we were moving toward this. He won't go to counseling. He won't take time on his own to think about it. He's decided he's done and he wants to move on and start a new life. It's like I'm on a train that won't stop. We have our first divorce mediation session this week.

I don't have the words to describe how much pain I'm feeling. Pain for my baby, who doesn't need any more loss in his life. Pain for the life I thought I had. Pain for DH because I know he's going to be hurt by this in the end. I need strength right now and I don't know if I have enough.