Saturday, March 3, 2007
I feel like I'm going crazy. I don't know if it's the clomid or just an accumulation of the stress of the last few months. It took everything I had to get through this week at work. All I could think about was ttc, clomid, and FSH levels. Then on my way to visiting my niece's today I saw a couple walking on the sidewalk, pushing a baby carriage, with their two older children riding scooters ahead of them. I burst into tears. Something about that image hit me hard. I realized that will never be me. I'll be lucky to have one child, never mind three. I mean, I'll treasure the one I get but I always pictured myself with more. It's so hard to let go of some dreams. It's not like I ever had that family, but I still feel like I lost it. I feel like I'm grieving. This had got to be the clomid. Maybe this means it working.